Next Stop: Purple Hair!

Forgive me blogger, for I have sinned, it has been almost a month since my last post. It's been quite a busy and fun month and I got to 99 lbs lost! That's right, I was right on the cusp of my goal on Wed. November 24th. I would have hit the magic number on Thanksgiving BUT.... my husband had other plans and whisked me away for a night at a posh hotel and dinner out for his birthday. It was so much fun and I just went with it. Started with some wonderful Hess merlot, followed by dinner at a Thai restaurant where I ordered sake and then back to the hotel for a cocktail at the bar! It was so worth it, and so much fun, but yeah, I totally gained 3 lbs. that night. Then Thanksgiving and a cookie exchange happened, plus bloatiness and well, I was up a few more pounds.

This past week I've been really good about keeping moving but between holiday stuff, volunteering at the kids' schools and a big project at work I only got in one really serious workout day. Otherwise, I would consider it sort of maintenance level workouts. I have still been walking the dog every day and Molly and I still run even if it's 25 degrees out! But I only got in a bit of strength training due to time constraints. This made me really reluctant to get back on the scale. I was praying to just please, still be in the 120's - PLEASE! So I cowboyed up this morning and I'm at 127! Fantastic! I am really happy with that. That is within my comfort zone. So I just need to shed 4 lbs. to officially meet my 100 lb. goal. After that I will be really content with anything under 128. If I start creeping anywhere above that number the sirens will go off and I will seriously examine what I've been eating. But I feel like I can really exist here and maintain my weight loss.

I really do like working out now. It's not a chore, it's part of my life and I intend to keep it that way. After a few days of just getting in a dog walk and some ab work I feel really great when I can blow it out and get in a good, challenging workout. It makes me feel physically good and I also have that satisfaction that I accomplished something so meaningful on several levels. I have conquered whatever voices told me to just stay put and hey, there's so many other things to do, I am making sure I NEVER gain back the weight I've worked so hard to lose, and I am fighting off diseases related to obesity.

In related news I am in TWO magazines! WHAT? It's kind of absurd but, yes, I am featured in the January issue of Family Circle magazine and the Dec./Jan. issue of Best Self Atlanta. Both articles feature a number of inspiring weight loss and transformation stories.

So I'll be scheduling my purple hair for the week after Christmas, well, as long as my paycheck gets here in time! I am making sure I have some time this week to get in some good workouts and I don't have any events coming up that would cause me to overindulge. I will have dinner on Christmas Eve at the in laws but I know there will be fruit and veggies that I can eat and Christmas brunch will offer some scrambled eggs and fruit salad. Yes, there will be coffee cake too and I can have a nibble. I know I won't go crazy because I want the scale to remain my friend and not this intimidating contraption of doom in my bedroom!

OMG - 3 to Go!

I've been a totally remiss blogger. This month has been pretty crazy. At the beginning of the month I caught a cold plus got all bloaty and gained back 3 pounds. Ugh. I felt cruddy and got cranky at not being able to work out and lose the way I planned and started eating stuff I shouldn't. It was kind of hysterical that I won a FB sweepstakes and a company called Rain Tees sent me 3 bars of dark chocolate right then. I am really proud that I still have a few morsels left. I totally could have eaten all three bars that week. The upshot of all that behavior was that on Nov. 9th I was back up to 132.6 lbs. Crud.

Exercise:
That was motivation for me to turn it up this past week. I have been walking running and hitting the bike like nobody's business and have been wearing my heart monitor so I could track my calories burned. One day I burned over 1200 calories so I actually burned more than I consumed. I've been keeping it between 850 and 1100 calories burned per day. It was a lot at times but I want the weight loss more than I wanted to drag my tired ass off that stationary bike. I've been running with my friend Molly and both Tues. and Thursday neither of us was super excited about getting out there but both days we did it and boy, it felt so good to have gotten 4 miles accomplished by 9:30 in the morning! Of course, after Molly left, I threw myself on the bike for an hour!

Eating:
Today I am at 126.2 lbs. I have only 3 lbs. to go to my goal. It's a phenomenal feeling. I know that I can get there by keeping a real careful eye on the calories I take in and keeping my calorie burn high. I am still on Good Measure Meals, they gave me a 2nd month at 50% off. I took another 'after' picture for them so you can see me in their new brochure. So 5 days a week I know I am getting 1200 calories of balanced nutrition. I was planning my meals for Saturday and had a good dose of fiber in the morning, followed by a little bit of fruit and then I planned a salad for lunch so I could get in my 2 - 3 servings of veggies. I wasn't sure what I was going to do for dinner but NEVER thought 'Hmmm, what sounds good for dinner? What do I want?' I immediately thought of what was lacking in my day so far and it was protein. So I looked for some lean protein and found some tilapia that Clay grilled. It's a whole different mind set. It's not about what I feel like eating - that has nothing to do with it. It's what do I need. What does my body need?

I even took the kids to iHop and watched them eat apple crepes and pumpkin pancakes. It all looked really tasty but I drank my hot tea and kept my hands to myself! And look what it got me: 126 lbs.! I haven't seen that number for 2 decades. It's so worth all the hard work.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and maybe I'll see you at the malls in the wee hours of Friday morning!

WHIRLWIND!

Monday started black as night and it only got a little lighter as the day went on. I planned on working out with Sule who was coming over to shoot some video content for his website but the shoot was canceled by the weather. So I was left to my own devices on a rainy day. Turns out it wasn't a bad thing! I actually gave myself a good strength workout, and even found a spot between rainshowers to walk the giant dog. I was very proud that despite the change in plans and the malaise I was able to give myself a darn good workout.

The next thing that happened was an email about a photo shoot! It sent me into a frantic shopping tizzy as they wanted winter clothes and I have NONE. Plus I didn't even know what size I was and I really had no idea what my style was or if I even had a style!!! Tuesday came and I did my cardio day of walk 2 miles, run 2 miles and do an hour on the bike. I burned about 1100 calories and felt great. And the shopping began. I ran around asking salespeople for help. By the end I'd found a sweater, a tunic and a sweater dress.

Wednesday I worked out at Exhale Spa with Sule - he was taking the class as he's logging in hours to become a trainer there. The spa is in the Loew's Hotel in Midtown and it is beautiful! The class was killer, the teacher Brianna kicked my ass and kept up a high intensity for the hour long workout. After that MORE SHOPPING! I hit Macy's and TJ Maxx and had several weight loss epiphany type moments!

Epiphany #1: I found boots that would zip all the way up my calves!!!! I haven't had tall boots in forever because my calves were just too thick. So there I was with tall boots that zipped (with a bit of coaxing) all the way up! Plus they were super cool so I snapped those right up.

Epiphany #2: I tried on a bazillion pairs of jeans because I didn't know what size I was anymore. I thought 6 petite but, nope, too big AND too short. Who the hell can wear them if they are too short for me???? But I didn't give up, I just kept on grabbing more jeans until I found a pair that wasn't all gappy in the back and was long enough not to turn into capris after one washing. Guess what size they were. GUESS! F-ING SIZE 4!!!!! I was soooooo freaked out! I was a size 4 for about 18 minutes back in 1992. And not again since then. Zoweee.

Epiphany #3 and this is a big one: I have entered the 120's - it has happened. I have reached the promised land! I am, as of this morning, 129 lbs. I have worked so so so hard to get here. I was stuck for so long I don't think I really believed I would break free and lose these last pounds. I have been on 1200 calorie per day Good Measure Meals since October 5th. I have totally ramped up my exercise routine and have been pulling out the stops to make this happen.

That being said, I'm not done. I have 6 lbs. to go to reach my 100 pound goal and earn my purple hair. I'm going to do it. And it's going to happen before Black Friday when I plan to do more shopping and find a biker chick jacket to go with my cool ass new boots. I will see you at Perimeter at 5am. with Starbuck's. I'll be the bitch in the boots.

Nnnrrrrrggggggg!

So I am at 132 lbs. this morning. That means I lost a whopping ONE POUND this past week! Unbelievable as I am literally exercising my ass off! I've been running, walking the dog every day of course, getting on the bike, doing my strength training. I have been hitting it really hard and ONE POUND does not seem to be adequate reward for all the freaking work.

That being said, I know what I am doing will, eventually, register on the scale. So today I walked 2 miles with the giant dog, I ran 1.5 miles (didn't do 2 'cause I ran yesterday and I am uber-conservative about how much stress I put on my heel), then I got on the bike for a full hour. I really don't care what I have to do or what it takes I WILL get this weight off, I WILL reach my goal weight and I WILL have purple hair. It's not happening as fast as I would like but I'm in for the journey and this is part of it.

In anticipation I am cleaning out my closets of clothes that I will never wear again so I can make room for a new wardrobe.

Gimme A TWO! 2! T-W-O!

So I'm at 132.6 lbs. Last week was up a pound, down a pound, just mucking around basically. A bit frustrating but it's part of any weight loss journey. It's not a straight path. I know this. This is not to say I'm not impatient about it. I am so close to my goal and soooo close to seeing that two on the scale. You know the one I'm talking about. The two in the middle. It means I'm back in the 120's and that is going to be stupendous. I haven't been there in DECADES! Seriously, it has been that long. It's going to be an amazing achievement to get back there.

I have been dorking around in the 130's for months. It's really been exhausting and frustrating to get so close and not be able to push past and get to that number on the scale. My body has been so resistant. I am determined because I know what a healthy weight is for me and where I am now is not quite it. Close. But no cigar. It is bizarre to watch my ass get flatter. I never lose weight in my ass and now I have. I'm pretty weirded out to see what I will look like once these last few pounds come off. It's like unwrapping a gift. V e r y s l o w l y. But it's cool and I know I will get there and I am starting to think about buying clothes altho I have no idea what my style is or what to buy.

So, I'm sticking with what I know works. Stick to the Good Measure Meals. Count the calories I'm burning. Keep on with the cardio. Keep moving and keep hydrated. Because I want that two.

Cool.

It's not Friday yet, which is when I weigh, but I haven't lost a lot of weight this week, not as much as I wanted anyway. Plus it was a frustrating afternoon so I was kinda cranky. I was trying to make dinner and work on this craft project for William's class and it all sort of went wrong and I also got really tired of hollering at the kids and micromanaging them to clean up after themselves. But, I just read something that cheered me right up! It's from Livestrong.com. It's a very cool website with all sorts of helpful weight loss and fitness tips. I was wondering what my resting heart rate should be and I went to Livestrong to find out. Here's what they said:

a normal resting range for a healthy adult is between 60 and 100 beats per minute, or bpm. Well-trained athletes at rest may range down to 40 to 60 bpm.


You are supposed to take it after reclining for 30 minutes but I checked it after, oh, 7 minutes because I don't have time to sit around for 30 minutes right now - cranky - remember! My resting heart rate was 50! I'm a freakin' ATHLETE!!! That makes me feel so good. It really validates why and how hard I've been working for the past year and a half. I have worked so hard that I went from slug to athlete. I have never in my life considered myself athletic. That blows my mind. So, back to basics, it's not about the number on the scale. It's the fact that my heart is so strong now that it pumps more blood with a single beat and therefor can pump less often. Being healthy is so important to me and I have made such huge strides from where I was last year. I am so proud of myself and I know I will never turn this clock back. No way.

On Track!

Phew! I knew this would work and I am right on track and so happy about it. In the past two weeks I've lost 8lbs. which is amazing. I am back down to 133lbs. which puts me at 90 lbs lost and just 10 away from my goal. I am right where I want to be and I know that the GMM will keep me on track. All I have to do is keep eating them and keep it together on the weekends when I don't have the meals and then keep up the cardio. I had a great workout the other day hopping on the stationary bike for sprints and then hopping off to do abs, then back on the bike, then off for some heavy bag work. I've heard the high intensity alternating with strength training yields results so I'm mixing it in. And mixing it up. Got to keep that muscle confusion going!

It's challenging to plan these workouts without Sule but I know so many different exercises it's easy to keep mixing them in. I know I'm not doing as good a job as he does at making sure everything gets worked on evenly and keeping a good balance between joint mobility and strength but I'm making an attempt anyway!

I even went out to lunch with Mom and Dad yesterday and it barely affected me. We were at a Mexican restaurant and I didn't have a single chip. It took some willpower but, honey, I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get it. Will chips and salsa and queso get me there? NO NO NO!!! I had a delicious salad with chicken and citrus with the dressing on the side and ate about half of it. Had the rest for dinner. I had a plan of how to cope with going out to lunch and I stuck to it and my reward is to be right where I want to be weight loss wise. One of Sule's sayings that I love is this: Not having a plan is a plan to fail. It's genius and sooooo applicable to this journey.

So go on out to eat or socialize, just have a plan. And if anyone thinks it's sad or wrong that you won't eat any chips, backhand 'em! Oops, I meant, smile, and stick to your guns! You are in control, nothing can make you eat the chips. If it's not helping you get to your goal then don't put it in your mouth!

Yay! It's on and it's coming off!

My goal was to lose 5 lbs. by this morning. Well, I lost 6.2 lbs. instead! YAY! And I am on my way to pick up my Good Measure Meals. I am confident with the meals on my side and a commitment to keep my exercise elevated that I can hit my goal.

And I can REALLY feel those 6 lbs. I lost. I can see it in my THIGHS!!! Wow. I have pretty much had thick thighs since about age 10. There were maybe 15 minutes in the early 90's when they were small but then they burst back to thick. Not that I have stick legs now but I can see they are getting smaller. It's like unwrapping a present. What will I look like after losing the next 5 lbs.? I don't know!

Yesterday I was supposed to do some strength training but it was so gorgeous outside that I went for a 2 mile run instead. I had just 30 minutes before we needed to leave for William's football game and busting out of the house for a run was a great way to use that time. It really gives me a sense of pride when I make those good choices. There are so many opportunities to make those good choices every day and I don't take advantage of every one but it makes me feel good when I do.

This is my first week without training from Sule but I know that I will keep hitting the heavy bag and doing my TWE 12 (check it out on YouTube!) and wicked ab exercises and killer pushups. I will not lose the fabulous muscle tone I've worked so hard for! It's a balance between cardio and strength that will get me to my goal. I will be upping the cardio to max out my weight loss this month which means more running and more hopping on the stationary bike and more sprints up the driveway. Have you seen my driveway - it's steep!

Wow. What a week, what a way to lose.

My goal from last week was to lose 5 lbs. by Monday the 4th. It's only Friday and I have lost just shy of 6 lbs! It started Sunday night with a turkey burger/high fiber wrap combo that did a real number on my innards. But maybe it wasn't just the burger as Clay and William felt a bit funky too. In my case this funk lasted until Thursday. I was just drained and exhausted to the point where I even missed my workout with Sule. Oi! Despite the funk I have managed to get in some good workouts and was on the bike for almost an hour on Tuesday (while watching 'Biggest Loser') and then ran on the Greenway on Wed. Yesterday I just walked the dog but got a good rise in my heart rate when a German Shepard charged us. This led to my neighbor tearing out of his house no doubt to discover why there was a woman screaming at the top of her lungs at the end of his driveway. That's got the be good for burning a few calories!

Today I'm hoping to be more up to speed and get in some additional cardio besides my dogwalk. I do strength training Tu. Th. and Sat. and then up the cardio MWF and try to just walk the dog on Sundays as you are supposed to have at least one light day.

I am really excited about the (almost) 6 lbs. as August and most of September were really disappointing weight loss wise. Now that I've had this rather rapid success I can really see me hitting my goal. I know the tummy funk definitely suppressed my appetite but I'm proud that I was able to keep moving despite it. It makes no sense but whenever I feel sluggish if I get up and walk the dog or hop on the stationary bike it totally makes me feel refreshed. This is totally different from my previous mindset of 'If you feel sluggish just go lay down. Relax, take a load off...' This just perpetuates the sluggishness! The sluggishness WANTS you to lay down. Don't do it. Fight back and get your blood moving. Drive the sluggishness away and burn some calories while you do it!

I have a plan

Clay and I went out to dinner last Sat. to celebrate our anniversary. We went to one of those Brazilian 'land of meat' places. Clay ate so much meat he almost fell asleep at the table. I had a coupla pieces but one of them was chicken. I stayed mostly engaged by the amazing salad bar and reveled in tabbouleh that I didn't make from a box. They brought the dessert cart around and I thought 'Yeah, I am getting dessert! When is the last time I had dessert in a restaurant?' So I ordered two desserts for us to share. Clay was appalled that I was ordering two desserts and thought I had gone mad. So I had a few bites of each and then I was done. Who finished them off? I'll let you fill in the blank.

The dining experience was fine but I got really cranky this week about the scale not moving despite the fact that I have been running again and eating tons of veggies. Cranky led me to eat crap. Not a lot of crap but I had a bunch of chips with my Subway sandwich. Clay brought home cookies and I had two. 2! I just felt, like, to hell with it, it apparently doesn't matter what I eat I'm not getting what I want.... Guess what that thinking got me? How did that attitude pay off? I gained 3 pounds!!!! AAAAAAAaaaaaccckckccck! Yup. I went right up to 141 lbs. Unbelievable.

Yesterday I took hold of myself after that shocking number on the scale and I upped my water and really restricted my calories. Today I am at 138.8. And I have a plan. I signed up for a month of Good Measure Meals. It's costing me $416. I would have spent the $400 on my contract with Sule so it didn't hurt so much in my crazy, justifying mind. Plus everything is included, all I have to provide is water. So I won't be buying any groceries to feed me during the month. It doesn't start until October 4th and I decided before that date I would lose 5 lbs. and get down to 136 (I didn't anticipate losing the 2.2 lbs. overnight). Then when my month of GMM starts I will have 13 lbs. to lose. That should be doable in a month. Once those meals start it is on and I am ramping up my calorie burn and you will find me on the spin bike at 8pm just to get an extra 300 calories burned away. I should be able to fit the fitness in as I won't have the 1 hour drive time plus the 1 hour class with Sule.

This is my plan. I'm sticking to it and I really feel with the restricted calories and truly balanced meals that GMM provides I have a really good chance for success. I'm writing down my weight every day and I'll let you know which way the scale is going. By November I hope to have conquered this hurdle and have lost a whopping total of 100 lbs. Let's do this.

Seismic Shift

I know this. The only constant is change. I'm familiar with that mostly from raising kids. So now I am going to experience some change in my life because my beloved trainer is moving on to a different opportunity. The daytime class that has been my 2 times a week mainstay for the past year is ending at the end of this month. No more Sule! I won't be completely cut off but no more class.

I'm a little nervous. I would be way nervous if he hadn't done such a good job training me so far. His workouts are completely portable and since I've been doing his Martial Fitness workouts for a year and a half I can pretty much give myself a good workout on my own. But he's been doing this for over two decades and really knows what he's doing. The flow of his workouts and the way he works pretty much everything in those 2 classes per week is what I will miss A LOT! And the fact that every workout is different is totally what kept it fresh and fun and not at all a chore to fit into my schedule.

The thing is I've been on a plateau for about 4 months. I've started running again and have been cutting out a lot of the processed foods I eat. And the scale is not showing these things at all. So I'm considering getting a month of Good Measure Meals. It's a financial commitment but I won't be paying on my contract with Sule so I feel it's kind of a trade off. Yup, I'm justifying and I know it. Justifying is a skill, people. And I've got it down! I could charge money to justify other people stuff!

I haven't pulled the trigger but I feel like the meals with their 1200 calories per day and all the fiber you can stand would really jump start me off this plateau. It worked before and I think it can work again. Or somebody needs to just suck the fat outta my thighs and be done with it. I am eager to hit my goal and what I'm doing is not really getting me there. Or at least not at a pace that I can deal with or even recognize.

No weigh.

I've effectively boycotted my scale for the past few days. But I am feeling smaller and have had so many 'Miss Skinny' comments it's amazing. So all the moving I've been doing is way worth it. I feel my stomach getting flatter although it is still sagging like wet cheesecloth tossed on the wall. Did that gross you out? My stomach is grosser and I have to look at it every day. And whilst trying on the tiny blouse at Macy's the other day Mara commented that my boobs are flat. Thanks! I told her it was her fault with all the nursing she did. Even though it's saggy I'm happy for the lessening of my stomach. Next, I am very interested in my thighs becoming less well acquainted. In fact, I'd like them quite separate, thank you. Yes, they should become quite distant. I really think the running will help with that.

I am so grateful to be running again. I have even gone a couple of days with no brace on my foot! I think this is going to be really key to conquering the rest of this weight. It's just such an amazing fat burning exercise and really lengthens your leg muscles. At 5'1" I can use all the lengthening I can get!!!

I don't know what exactly possessed me but I started pulling REALLY OLD clothes out of a closet and trying them on. These are clothes from the early 90s. There's a navy blue power suit with shoulder pads and everything! There was this Chinese looking dress that I had back in college and it's slit up to my ass. Guess what. I tried it on and it freaking fits!!! Whaaaaaa hooooooo!!! Can't believe it. I even squeezed into some size 5/6 Sasson jeans with a super high waist. Oooh la la. It was a comical trip down memory lane. Back to a time when I was skinty. I am glad to be back no matter what the scale says. The tiny clothes tell me I'm doing good!

Size TWO Bitches!

This week wasn't terrific weight loss wise. I worked my ass off all week and tried to eat mostly unprocessed food, ie. fruit and veggies. Lots of fruit and veggies! And I ran on Monday and Friday in addition to my regualr workouts and I was expecting big loss. What did the scale say on Friday morning? What? Guess! 138! I'm not kidding. I now know that it's a combination of the eggplant dish I made on Thursday night which was good but too full of sodium. By today I am majorly bloaty along with a little (men, please avert your eyes or just start rolling them now!) crampy and tired. So yeah, it's that time of the month so not the time to be looking for lower numbers on the scale. Not gonna happen.

Despite all this I went to the mall. I finally got my paycheck last week and needed a tiny bit of retail therapy. I was rewarded with tons of stuff on clearance at Macy's. Despite my bloaty crampy I haven't eaten and might just vomit now self I found an adorable blouse and it looks awesome on and IT'S A FREAKIN' SIZE 2!!!! As if that's not cool enough it also cost me only $4.25 because it was so on sale and I had $14 left on a gift card! That's like having Darth Vader ask me to the Senior Prom!!! What? Yeah, I just said that. And I mean the creepy breathing Vader too, not the conflicted angsty one.

So I am not being ruled by the scale. I know I am on the right track and I am motivated to get these last pounds off altho I've been jackin' around with the same weight for months! I am totally finding motivation in the ridiculously tiny number on the label on my new blouse. I will display said blouse when I go to dinner with my husband for our anniversary. You will see the smallness.

TWO MILES!

Waaaaahooooo! I just ran 2 miles! Yes, I did say RAN! I am Running Girl! I am so happy! Let me tell you how freaking weird it is to run for 15 minutes and not want to die and lay down on some stranger's lawn. An then I ran for another 10 minutes! What? I actually thought 'Hey, um, shouldn't I be really tired now and want to stop? Shouldn't I be trying to talk myself into not stopping right about now? Why am I not trying to stop? Where is the convincing and the battle with the evil little voice that tells me I've already done enough?' How confusing! But I guess I've been exercising so consistently that I've acclimated somehow. All the time on the bike is paying off. Because I can go balls to the wall on the bike and it still doesn't feel as hard as running to me.

Thank you heel! Thank you brace for my heel and my having the discipline to ice it at night. It's all working and I feel so encouraged. I am employing the 'sweat and veggies' tactic to get the rest of this weight off. I do have cereal for breakfast because if I start out with a lot of fiber I am way less hungry later. Then salad, fruit, V-8 and nuts. Maybe some lean meat for protein 'cause I beat the hell out of my heavy bag yesterday! Wheeee - lookout remaining jiggliness - your days are numbered!

Frowny Face with Angry Eyebrows

I wrote that out because I am morally opposed to making 'emoticons' with 'punctuation'. I am not judging those who indulge but I just ain't going there. Anyway, I grew a pair and got on the scale yesterday. Guess what it said. Go on, guess. Yup 138. I shit you not! I didn't freak and get discouraged though. I just sighed and resigned myself to doing what ever it takes to get as far away from that number as I can as quickly as possible. So yesterday I got on the bike in the afternoon despite how freaking tired I was. It's got to happen. Plus a lot of salads have been eaten this week.

Today, though, we went to Dragon Con and walked a bit but not at all the fast 2 miles I usually do. I was gonna just have a light day today but someone pissed me off at dinner. I won't name names but he's older than me and I live with him. . . . I left a little space for you to figure it out. Anyway I took my pissed offedness and took the dog for our regular 2 mile walk in the neighborhood. But I was still pissed so I went out again and did a 1.5 mile run. Did you see what I said??? Run! Yes, I ran. I haven't run for months due to my mysterious heel injury. It's been feeling good lately and I've been wearing my brace and icing it at night so I thought I'd take some tentative steps. Baby running steps. Dahling it was mahvelous!!! Now I know I can get this weight off. If I can run it can be done. The bike is great but running just really jump starts my metabolism like nothing else. So I'm icing my heel right now as I type and I'll just take it easy tomorrow and walk and bike. But then on Monday.... maybe a little more running if it feels ok. Very exciting! And what a good way to let go of my pissyness.

So TAKE THAT 138. You're history! I will not tolerate you hanging around anymore! I mean it, we're done. I never want to see you again and I am willing to eat as many salads as are necessary to ensure your complete and utter banishment from my life. I have nothing more to say to you.

I smell bad

Oh, man. My arms are useless. As is most of the rest of me. Luckily my kids are amusing themselves. I'm surprised I can type! What a workout with Coach Sule today. We did so much but for mostly 1 minute reps that it really felt like an hour and a half worth or workout. I remember looking up thinking it MUST be time to stretch and being shocked that class was only 1/2 over! We mixed aerobic and strength back and forth and boy, oh boy did it work me. Why am I going on and on about this workout? Because it taught me that I can still really push myself. I guess I'd gotten a little complacent and while working diligently on form I hadn't really had the opportunity to go balls to the wall and really get beat up. And ya know, I like it!

I have been a good girl this week and been walking the dog every day and getting on the stationary bike on my non- Sule workout days but I haven't really had it out with my heavy bag recently. Heavy bag, I miss you! I will see you Saturday even though my Girl Fight Club girls won't be around. My heel is feeling a lot better and I think it can take some heavy bag fun. I'm not going to try to run yet but I think that may come.... So git up and git moving!!! Your body can keep going waaaaaay after your brain has told you (or even begged and pleaded with you) to stop. And it feels really good to break through that barrier. So find your shaky place - you know, where your muscles start to rebel at what you are asking and they start shaking and getting all wobbly. Don't hurt yourself but get some shakiness going. Your muscles will thank you.

Now, I think I may go take a bath and soak out some of this lactic acid and get the stink off me. That's some multitasking I can get into!

Chicken Sh@%

Ok, confession: I haven't gotten on the scale in a couple of weeks. I am working hard, watching what I eat, eating fruits, veggies and nuts first before any processed foods, getting the dog walked, getting on the bike regularly. So I know I have probably lost a bit but I feel like I've been fighting these same 5 lbs. for MONTHS. I am sick of those numbers. I never want to see 138 on the scale again. Don't get me wrong - that's a far cry from 158, 188 or 208. I will never see those numbers again, ever. But I have been loitering, wandering and malingering in the 130's forever. I think it's my own personal weight loss Purgatory. I am Sisyphus and 138 is my big ol' rock. I keep pushing it away and it keeps freaking rolling over me. So in order to not see those numbers I have been avoiding the scale. I don't want to get demoralized by those numbers so I am trying to lose the weight and then get on the scale so I don't have to deal with it. How is that for coping? Well, it's better than just giving up. And I wish I knew why my body is so comfortable at this weight.

The other issue plaguing me a bit is my right heel. It's being crappy and I wish my heel would just heal already! I don't know what the issue is but it hurts, and then it really hurts when I run. So I've had to stop running. I replaced running with the spin bike but I gotta tell ya, nothing melts my ass like running so I'm quite peevish that it's been taken off the menu. I have been off my foot and wearing a brace and icing it at night. And....it is (feeling better), she said as cautiously and optimistically as possible while not jinxing it.

So maybe I will cowboy up and get on the scale in the morning. Or, maybe I"ll wait until next week hoping for some really good numbers. It's like scale lottery! I'll let you know when I grow a pair and face the numbers.

Paradigm Shift

Ah, yes. Now I get it. It's a lesson I keep learning and every day I get another chance to get it right. Also, another chance to screw it up, but I'm not focusing on that! It's a lesson about food. And there's SO MUCH information about what to eat, when to eat, and how to eat it that is overwhelming and often conflicting. But when you boil it down, it gets very simple. Burn more calories than you consume. Eat what your body needs. Let me repeat that.

Eat for fuel. Simple. Don't eat when you feel like it, don't eat when you're hungry, don't eat because others are, don't eat because you happen to be in the kitchen!

See? Simple. I did not say easy!! But as soon as I got back in weight loss mode where I was paying attention to what I eat I recognized the different mindset toward food. I started posing different questions that were very telling. Instead of walking into the kitchen and wondering 'What is there to eat?'. I would go in the kitchen only when it had been 2 1/2 or 3 hours since I'd last eaten. I would wonder 'What does my body need now?' If I just exercised the answer was water and protein. Pretty much any other time I made sure to ask 'Have I had my 5 servings of fruit and veggies yet?' If the answer was no then that's what I would head for first.

It's a consciousness that was missing for the last two or three weeks. I don't intend to let it get too far away from me again. I can't let eating be recreational or social or unconscious again. EVER. Therein lies the path to a giant ass, my friend. Yes, it's true, you'll get your boobs back too but I'd rather buy a padded bra!

Sometimes you just have to tell your diet to suck it!

So, I gained back that 5 pounds and then have just sort of stayed here for two weeks. I'm not too sure why but I haven't had that same 'eye of the tiger' go get 'em attitude about working out and watching everything I eat. I haven't been gorging or falling off the wagon, just haven't been in what I call 'weight loss mode'. It's a different mode than just everyday living. It's intense and takes a lot of attention. So I haven't been giving it it's due. I've just been existing. Which has been nice, I must say. I think I needed a break from the intensity.

But now I looked in the mirror and can see my butt is bigger! That's not ok! So I am ready to resume and see this project to the conclusion. I read a quote from Valerie Bertinelli that said she's giving herself a 5 pound window but there's a 'stake in the ground at 132 lbs.' I like that idea. It seems like there's security in having a number where the alarms go off and you can say "Stop! No farther!" and get all Berlin Wall with it. Otherwise, it's too easy to fall back and start to slip slidin' and next thing you know you are wearing elastic pants! It's kinda funny because now all I wear is elastic waisted things because I keep shrinking out of my clothes so the elastic helps them last longer.

Yup, I'm getting back to it. I can prove it by the fact that even though I slept rotten last night and am backachy today I got on the bike for 40 minutes and did some abs too. After that I made sure to stretch and shower and I feel much better now. I'd have to say I feel almost human! I think that's a pattern. If I feel sluggish or blah I just always feel better after yanking myself up and getting moving. I dare you to give it a try next time yo have the blahs.

Look out Tomorrow! I have you in my sights: there are calories to burn, large dogs to walk, a heavy bag to be punched, V-8 to be drunk and my ass to be kicked. IT'S ON.

Derailed, dejected and even a little bit depressed, but still determined.

So, ya know how I lost that last 5 lbs. and how I said it was a REALLY hard 5 lbs. to lose and how I had to just go ballistic and up my workouts and get crazy? Yeah, well, I just gained it all back. Yup. 5 lbs. gained back. That 5 lbs. Every. Freakin. Ounce.

Sigh. All it took was family visiting and my routine being thrown off and the eating out and eating in general that comes with visitors and throw in some stress and not enough working out and there you have it. 5 lbs. Oh poop. So I am not at all happy about it but happy that I was brave enough to get on the scale this morning and see what damage I'd done. That took some courage but it was totally like ripping off the band-aid. Just do it! Just get your ass on that scale and face the music. In this case the music was a big waaaaa waaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. But it's over and done and I know that I can get back on track.

How do I know? What makes me certain? What keeps me moving forward toward my 100 lb. weight loss and the purple hair that will follow? I finally figured out that this is my lifestyle. It took months but then I realized that I don't work out because it's fun or I enjoy it, although it is and I do. I work out because I want to age well. I am defying gravity! I am defying joint deterioration and surgeries! I am defying canes, walkers and wheelchairs! I am defying the inevitable slowing of the brain as the body slows down. I want to know that I am doing everything I can think of to help myself keep my health and my faculties. I want to be the crazy grandma wearing shorts and playing tennis with the grandkids. Altho I DON'T WANT GRANDKIDS ANY TIME SOON!!! And I can't play tennis for shit. I stink at tennis, I'm not expecting that to change.

This keeps me going because I have seen the alternative. This is serious. It is actually life and death. No kidding. So I encourage you to rip off your own band-aid and confront reality. I am totally here to hold your hand if you need a buddy. I am in your corner and I have your back because my struggle is your struggle and visa versa. I know we can do this, it is within our grasp. So rip it and let's go.

90 POUNDS!

Wow. So, this is me, here, 90 lbs. lighter. I thought it appropriate to take a picture (or, rather, press Mara into service as photographer) right after I worked out, all sweaty and unadorned. You'll have to pardon the whiteness of my belly, that is not a photo effect - THAT IS HOW AMAZINGLY WHITE MY BELLY IS, DON PROTECTIVE EYEWEAR NOW! I thought I cropped more of that out but, there you have it. Some parts of me have not seen sunlight for a good decade or more. My apologies if I burned a hole in your monitor.

Anyway, I am all sweaty and no make up because that is how I made it to 90 lbs. Lots of sweaty, lots of veggies, water and fiber and lots more sweat. I set a doable goal for myself which really does the trick for me. I needed to lose 3 lbs. to reach that magnificent and absurd number of 90 lbs. lost. So the past two weeks I have done my regular 2 mile dog walk every day and am keeping up with my strength training but I've added 30 - 60 minutes on the bike several times a week. I'll hop on the bike for 10 minutes and then do 2 minutes of abs, then rinse and repeat two more times. 'Cause, you know, who can't do 10 minutes on the bike? If I tell you to do an hour you'd probably balk. But 10 minutes, ok, that's doable. Plus you have to want to reach that goal more than you want to make that excuse you are forming right now about why you can't go do 10 minutes on the bike (or whatever equipment you are currently using for hanging clothes and towels). Rain, cold, hot, tepid, whatever, doesn't matter. Make a date and respect it.

I am so proud of myself for getting here and I know I can get this last 10 lbs. off too. And then there will be partying. Serious, craziness will ensue when I hit that 100 lb. goal. But right now, I just have 3 to lose. Just 3 'cause I know that's a goal I can live with.

With a Little Help From My Friends

Whatever goal you are trying to reach is made so much easier if you have support. Weight loss, just for instance, is easier if everyone in the house is on the same page. It really helps if no one goes out and buys those items that are on your own personal no-no list. My list includes, but is sure as hell not limited to, cookies. I can eat me some cookies people! I don't buy them and if I make them, the kids both like baking, I make sure they have a good home to go to so I am not tempted. They are like chips for me, if ya eat one, why not eat a dozen?! I remember in the interview for Atlanta's Biggest Loser the producer asked if I had any diet restrictions as they were providing the Good Measure Meals. I replied "No, I'll eat anything, I mean, look at me!"

So my present goal is to get to 90lbs. lost. I have really upped my cardio and am really watching what I am eating. It is working but I am also taking a month off from my regular classes with my trainer - SCARY! So I invited peoples over to work out with me on Saturday morning. Many thanks to Signe and my neighbor Kristin for showing up to walk the dog and then endure some strength training with me. We did abs, we did some joint mobility, we did some stick work and some heavy bag and kick boxing and ended with a good stretch. It was phenomenal to have others beside me to keep me on track. It does so help to have a buddy, or two! There's the accountability of knowing that people are coming over to work out so there's no sleeping in, and it's just more fun. I'm sure I would have walked the dog by myself, I do it every day. But would I have gone on to do all the strength training we got in? I'm thankful I will never know!

Baby Steps to Success!

Ok, it's working. I am now at 135 lbs. and so happy to be away from 138. I truly hope I NEVER see that number on the scale again. Phew! What am I doing that's working? Well, it boils down to lots and lots of sweat. It's so simple. It just ain't easy, baby. I religiously do my 2 mile dog walk EVERY DAY. Yup, every day, no slacking off. Except, ok I did just do my dog walk sans dog. He was being a total turd this morning and I thought I might just leave him somewhere if I tried to walk him. Take that Rowdy! Why don't you try NOT being such a freaking creep and then you get to walk with me and pee at Sparky's house. Sparky is a microscopic terrier who lives down the street and Rowdy loves him and always leaves him a pee message at his mailbox. I guess my point here is that even though the dog woke me up at 6am I still got my ass out the house and did some sweating.

But I digress. So 2 mile dog walk every day. Abs every day. Then I've been adding either a 1.5 mile run or a good 30-45 minutes on the spin bike. Clay bought the spin bike for himself but his butt never gets on it! It's mine!!! Ha! Then 3 days a week I do strength training. Qu'est que c'est 'strength training'? Well, I'm glad you asked, in French and all. Push ups of various kinds, more ab work, various martial art moves to get the hips and shoulders opened up in preparation for kick boxing on the heavy bag or wailing away with my kali sticks. I have learned that keeping all the wonderful muscle I have built is essential for weight loss and then maintenance. I have worked so hard for all these muscles and refuse to lose them. I am going to be the grandma with the cut shoulders!

Plus I am celebrating every small victory. And making my next goal really attainable. My next goal is 2 lbs by next week. Very doable and it will get me to 90 lbs. lost!!! Wow, that will be something to celebrate, but not with cake or alcohol or other empty calories. Maybe a new pair of shoes though.

Scary Territory, ooooohhhhh

So I am entering the unknown. I have put my gym membership on hold for 4 weeks. This means I will not have my 2 day a week hour long sessions with my trainer/coach/guide/mentor Sule Welch. It's frightening but I feel it's the right decision. I have been feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done between now and school starting, keeping the kids entertained everyday during the summer, keeping up with work while finding something for the kids to do, relatives coming to visit. It was starting to stress me out!

Plus I've been sitting at 138 lbs. FOREVER!!!! CURSE YOU 138!!!! I NEVER want to see that number again. I go a little up or a few pounds down but I keep coming back to 138. I guess my bod is happy here but I AM NOT HAPPY. I am 5'1" and this is not where I should be. And one of the key adages I have come away with on my weight loss journey goes thusly:

If you keep doing the same things you will get the same results.

So I am shaking things up by taking the drive to Marietta to work out with Sule out of the picture. I don't feel too frightened because I take him with me wherever I go. This is the genius of the workouts he's created! I now know how to kick my own ass. Also I am upping my cardio in the hopes that it will spur me to lower numbers on the scale. I know that I have to be impeccably precise with what I am eating to get this weight off. I am staying away from almost all processed foods unless it's got a big ole heap of fiber in it!

So, I am off to the heavy bag and the spin bike to get my sweat on and get to my goal. It will happen. Plus I had success over the weekend getting on the bike to watch some Netflix movies that had been sitting in a drawer for a month. Today 'Sherlock Holmes' is coming in the mail and I plan to watch it while spinning my ass off, literally. Bye bye ass.

Trigger, and I don't mean the horse

So, what is it that triggers eating for you? I have learned my triggers intimately over the past year and it is invaluable information. I used to think it was ye olde blanket 'emotional eating'. Well, yes and no. Turns out when I get worn out that's when I make bad decisions about what to grab on a foray to the kitchen. That's when I head to the kitchen and I start hearing things about what a hard day it was and perhaps even a little pat on the back about how well I held up through it all and don't I deserve that cookie sitting there... just waiting and looking up at me with puppy eyes saying 'Eat Me'? Most days when that cookie bats it's eyes at me I look at it squarely in the chips and say 'Hell, no! I don't deserve a cookie! I'll tell you what I deserve - I deserve to lose weight, make it to my goal and feel damn good about myself. That's what I deserve!'

But on a day when I have been stressed to the max or just beat up by life in some way and it's the end of the day and I am exhausted I start listening to those pro eat the cookie arguments. They start making a lot of sense to me at that moment. It all starts to sound darn logical and that's when I go, ok, come here cookie!

So yesterday when I had to go visit my parents and deliver some sad news about a death in the family and my car broke down instead I knew I was in danger of going home and tearing through all the leftover birthday cake. I was sitting there on the side of the freeway making frantic calls to Clay and to the tow truck company and praying that no one took the curve too fast and shaved off the side of my stranded car. It was boiling hot and pretty nerve wracking and uncomfortable and I was soooooo happy once safe at home in the cool. So I had a beer. I know that's kind of a strange solution to have empty calories to stave off the siren call of the leftover birthday cake but dammit, it worked! I had one beer, it was cold and refreshing and helped me calm down and I was able to go eat veggies and hummus when I ventured into the kitchen.

So, know your triggers and have a plan when they pop up. I'm not saying your plan should involve drinking a beer! If that's what I was promoting you'd see a beer ad to the right of this blog entry, go ahead and look: no beer ad there! Just be prepared when you are in that situation where you know you might make some bad eating choices. Even when you are vulnerable you still have the power to look at that cookie and tell it to stuff it's chips where the sun don't shine!!!

The Birthday Gauntlet

So, July is birthday month for my family. It actually starts in late June. Planning, gift buying, cake making, party organizing. I'm exhausted. How did I survive and not gain weight through all this? Well, I did have a couple of small (I'm talking tiny) pieces of cake. I was buying and making cakes and I do like sweets. Past experience has taught me if I try to go hardcore, no cake at all, I will end up drawn like a moth to whatever leftover cake there is to be had and attack it like a pit bull with a, well, something attacked by a pit bull which could be anything.

So, no hardcore for me, I know better. I will be stalwart for a certain amount of time and then crumble into a cake eating frenzy in the kitchen. Yeah, it's all about the covert cake eating at that point. Because it's a law that if you stand in the kitchen eating leftover cake and you don't even use a fork then there are NO CALORIES! I bet you knew that already! But this journey has been all about not repeating past mistakes. I have really learned that if you keep doing the same things you will ABSOLUTELY get the same results.

So I had small nibbles of cake and survived just fine. I also got on the bike for a half hour instead of collapsing and watching tv after William's birthday party. Hey, I even gave my popcorn to the kid next to me! I passed up movie popcorn - that is how bad I want this last bit of weight off!

Also I was in charge of the menu at the celebration at my folks' place and I made sure to get a veggie platter so I knew I would have something to eat. Give me veggies and hummus and I can avoid the mini tacos and the chips, salsa and queso. Ha - take that you sizzling, mini beef tacos from Trader Joe's! I don't need you! I am eating carrots and grape tomatoes and edamame hummus - in your face you oily bits of meaty goodness! As Coach Sule says not having a plan is a plan to fail.

Sneaky, not so much

Tried to sneak out and get an early morning walk before the hubby left and the kids awoke. Alas, it was not to be as the husband foiled my plans by getting ready and leaving for work. So, I adjusted and hopped on the stationary bike for half an hour. I watched part of a Netflix movie that's been sitting around for a month. That's killing two birds with one stone if you ask me! Exercise and entertainment!

By the time I was done there the kids were awake so I made them breakfast and hit the road for the 2 mile dog walk. After that I headed over to Amy's house and we did some of the strength training exercises that I've been doing for over a year. She's quite the kick boxer! Then I remembered to stretch after I got home, I often forget that important step.

So, although things didn't go according to plan I made darn good use of my time today. Also I am drinking a cup of detox tea every day. It's a mild diuretic so I have to increase my water consumption. It's a natural way to cleanse the system. I'm not getting on the scale until Friday so I don't get too obsessive. I'm expecting some good results tho!

Sleep, get you some

Are you getting your 8 hours? Or have you never gotten 8 and think sleeping 8 hours is for babies or narcoleptics? I may change your mind right now. There have been studies in the last couple of years linking sleep to weight loss. As in if you do nothing else but increase the amount of sleep you get to 7.5 or 8 hours you will lose weight over time. That's right, that's what I said, just getting more sleep will help you lose a few pounds. So just think what would happen if you got more sleep and started walking a couple of days a week! Wow, the possibilities!

I feel like I am joining a revolution. I am now one of a host of lifestyle changing folk who are sounding the clarion call of HEY - YOU OUT THERE - START TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF NOW!!!! We cannot go on eating fast food and living life in the fast lane of career, parenting, and stress.

Ok, I'm getting a little preachy. And here I am talking about sleep. So, ease up now. Relax. Get some rest. That's what I really meant to say. Ok, I'm icing my heel in the hopes that my heel will heal. I am nothing if not consistent in my abiding love for puns of all kinds. And now I am going on my 2 mile dog walk and later I will see what kind of craziness Coach Sule has in store. All that should lead to a nice nights sleep.

Up A Wall

Off for my normal 2 mile dogwalk this am. I just walked instead of running a bit as my heel was pretty sore this morning. Then we took the kids to the new climbing place off 85. I've never really climbed before but I think it might be fun. Now that I'm way smaller and way stronger than I've ever been I think I could probably haul myself around off the ground a bit. Unfortunately, it was closed except for the kiddie part so just the kids did the climbing. They had a great time and are now quite worn out.

I was up late and then up early so I am feeling pooped this afternoon. But, I am not satisfied with just a 2 mile walk. Need-More-Cardio! This is how these last lbs. will come off. Cardio cardio cardio...... But, my natural inclination right now is to lay on the couch. I find the easiest way to combat this inclination is to get up off my ass and move! Drink a big glass of water and get moving. Turn on a fan, or the ac and shake what your momma gave you! So I am going to get on the bike and do 30 minutes mixed with some abs. And after that, I will have earned the couch.

Going Medieval on my own Ass!

So here's my plan for losing this last 15 lbs: go ape shit crazy and exercise all the time. Yup, that's pretty much it. I've been sitting here going up and down a few pounds for a couple of months. I have come to the conclusion that it's going to take the same kind of effort to get started exercising to lose this last bit of flab.

Yesterday I did my normal 2 mile dogwalk where I try to run a bit but really just end up dragging Rowdy around because he doesn't like to run. And he weighs 90 lbs. so I really can't make him do anything! Then I came home and watched a movie with the kids, it was nice to have that rest. After that I got on the stationary bike for 10 minute intervals broken up by 3 minute ab sessions. Coach Sule has given me a zillion ab exercises so I have so many to choose from! I think I did 4 of those and then, to mix things up, I ran down the street and back up. Then I did 2 2min. drills on the heavy bag. Then I panted, drank water and stretched. I burned 740 calories and that's without counting the dog walk!

So today's plan is a 1.5 miles dog walk followed by a 2 mile run if my heel allows, it's been giving me pains. After that, more cardio. Tomorrow I will take it easy and just do a walk. It's gonna take some crazy but I am ready to flip the switch and make this happen and get to my purple hair. I've found that my success is directly linked to how badly I want it. I guess that's what you call determination. How badly do you want what you are after? Do I want to lose this weight more than I want to sit on the couch or go read a book? Yup. I have been mucking around with this long enough and am ready to see magic numbers on the scale! I am so proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far and that really helps push me forward.

It Has Begun

Here I am. Jumping on the bandwagon and getting my Blog on. It is, of course, going to be skewed to weight loss/fitness/lifestyle as those are my current obsessions. My family is always my main priority but I figure they can all start their own damn blogs if they want their 15 minutes, right?

To catch you up I started out last year weighing 225 lbs. In January of 2009 I applied for and was chosen as a contestant on Atlanta's Biggest Loser. I was picked by Sule Welch to be a member of the Pink Team and he was the coach. We worked out 5 days a week and got Good Measure Meals for as long as we remained in the contest. After 12 weeks I was the winner for the Pink Team and I'd lost 39 lbs. This meant I was still fat. I mean HUGE! Thus began my weight loss journey and the impetus for this blog.

The name comes from my goal of getting to 100 lbs. lost (I am at 85 lbs. lost now) and the fact that I am dyeing my hair purple when I get there. And getting a tattoo. Ok, I'm not sold on the tattoo but I'm really considering it. But I want a dragon tattoo and then I'll be like the Stieg Larsson book that's hugely popular right now. Gosh darn it, Stieg beat me to it.

I promise to get pix up and get all linky and stuff on you but right now it's 10pm and I have to finish a Netflix movie that I've had for a month. I am a movie slacker lately. And then I have to get my ass to bed as I worked out for an hour and a half today and I know I need rest. I'm going to post about what's worked for me so far and about the draconian lengths I am going to have to go to to get these last 15 lbs. off. But I am going to do it. Come on along for the ride.