I have a plan

Clay and I went out to dinner last Sat. to celebrate our anniversary. We went to one of those Brazilian 'land of meat' places. Clay ate so much meat he almost fell asleep at the table. I had a coupla pieces but one of them was chicken. I stayed mostly engaged by the amazing salad bar and reveled in tabbouleh that I didn't make from a box. They brought the dessert cart around and I thought 'Yeah, I am getting dessert! When is the last time I had dessert in a restaurant?' So I ordered two desserts for us to share. Clay was appalled that I was ordering two desserts and thought I had gone mad. So I had a few bites of each and then I was done. Who finished them off? I'll let you fill in the blank.

The dining experience was fine but I got really cranky this week about the scale not moving despite the fact that I have been running again and eating tons of veggies. Cranky led me to eat crap. Not a lot of crap but I had a bunch of chips with my Subway sandwich. Clay brought home cookies and I had two. 2! I just felt, like, to hell with it, it apparently doesn't matter what I eat I'm not getting what I want.... Guess what that thinking got me? How did that attitude pay off? I gained 3 pounds!!!! AAAAAAAaaaaaccckckccck! Yup. I went right up to 141 lbs. Unbelievable.

Yesterday I took hold of myself after that shocking number on the scale and I upped my water and really restricted my calories. Today I am at 138.8. And I have a plan. I signed up for a month of Good Measure Meals. It's costing me $416. I would have spent the $400 on my contract with Sule so it didn't hurt so much in my crazy, justifying mind. Plus everything is included, all I have to provide is water. So I won't be buying any groceries to feed me during the month. It doesn't start until October 4th and I decided before that date I would lose 5 lbs. and get down to 136 (I didn't anticipate losing the 2.2 lbs. overnight). Then when my month of GMM starts I will have 13 lbs. to lose. That should be doable in a month. Once those meals start it is on and I am ramping up my calorie burn and you will find me on the spin bike at 8pm just to get an extra 300 calories burned away. I should be able to fit the fitness in as I won't have the 1 hour drive time plus the 1 hour class with Sule.

This is my plan. I'm sticking to it and I really feel with the restricted calories and truly balanced meals that GMM provides I have a really good chance for success. I'm writing down my weight every day and I'll let you know which way the scale is going. By November I hope to have conquered this hurdle and have lost a whopping total of 100 lbs. Let's do this.

Seismic Shift

I know this. The only constant is change. I'm familiar with that mostly from raising kids. So now I am going to experience some change in my life because my beloved trainer is moving on to a different opportunity. The daytime class that has been my 2 times a week mainstay for the past year is ending at the end of this month. No more Sule! I won't be completely cut off but no more class.

I'm a little nervous. I would be way nervous if he hadn't done such a good job training me so far. His workouts are completely portable and since I've been doing his Martial Fitness workouts for a year and a half I can pretty much give myself a good workout on my own. But he's been doing this for over two decades and really knows what he's doing. The flow of his workouts and the way he works pretty much everything in those 2 classes per week is what I will miss A LOT! And the fact that every workout is different is totally what kept it fresh and fun and not at all a chore to fit into my schedule.

The thing is I've been on a plateau for about 4 months. I've started running again and have been cutting out a lot of the processed foods I eat. And the scale is not showing these things at all. So I'm considering getting a month of Good Measure Meals. It's a financial commitment but I won't be paying on my contract with Sule so I feel it's kind of a trade off. Yup, I'm justifying and I know it. Justifying is a skill, people. And I've got it down! I could charge money to justify other people stuff!

I haven't pulled the trigger but I feel like the meals with their 1200 calories per day and all the fiber you can stand would really jump start me off this plateau. It worked before and I think it can work again. Or somebody needs to just suck the fat outta my thighs and be done with it. I am eager to hit my goal and what I'm doing is not really getting me there. Or at least not at a pace that I can deal with or even recognize.

No weigh.

I've effectively boycotted my scale for the past few days. But I am feeling smaller and have had so many 'Miss Skinny' comments it's amazing. So all the moving I've been doing is way worth it. I feel my stomach getting flatter although it is still sagging like wet cheesecloth tossed on the wall. Did that gross you out? My stomach is grosser and I have to look at it every day. And whilst trying on the tiny blouse at Macy's the other day Mara commented that my boobs are flat. Thanks! I told her it was her fault with all the nursing she did. Even though it's saggy I'm happy for the lessening of my stomach. Next, I am very interested in my thighs becoming less well acquainted. In fact, I'd like them quite separate, thank you. Yes, they should become quite distant. I really think the running will help with that.

I am so grateful to be running again. I have even gone a couple of days with no brace on my foot! I think this is going to be really key to conquering the rest of this weight. It's just such an amazing fat burning exercise and really lengthens your leg muscles. At 5'1" I can use all the lengthening I can get!!!

I don't know what exactly possessed me but I started pulling REALLY OLD clothes out of a closet and trying them on. These are clothes from the early 90s. There's a navy blue power suit with shoulder pads and everything! There was this Chinese looking dress that I had back in college and it's slit up to my ass. Guess what. I tried it on and it freaking fits!!! Whaaaaaa hooooooo!!! Can't believe it. I even squeezed into some size 5/6 Sasson jeans with a super high waist. Oooh la la. It was a comical trip down memory lane. Back to a time when I was skinty. I am glad to be back no matter what the scale says. The tiny clothes tell me I'm doing good!

Size TWO Bitches!

This week wasn't terrific weight loss wise. I worked my ass off all week and tried to eat mostly unprocessed food, ie. fruit and veggies. Lots of fruit and veggies! And I ran on Monday and Friday in addition to my regualr workouts and I was expecting big loss. What did the scale say on Friday morning? What? Guess! 138! I'm not kidding. I now know that it's a combination of the eggplant dish I made on Thursday night which was good but too full of sodium. By today I am majorly bloaty along with a little (men, please avert your eyes or just start rolling them now!) crampy and tired. So yeah, it's that time of the month so not the time to be looking for lower numbers on the scale. Not gonna happen.

Despite all this I went to the mall. I finally got my paycheck last week and needed a tiny bit of retail therapy. I was rewarded with tons of stuff on clearance at Macy's. Despite my bloaty crampy I haven't eaten and might just vomit now self I found an adorable blouse and it looks awesome on and IT'S A FREAKIN' SIZE 2!!!! As if that's not cool enough it also cost me only $4.25 because it was so on sale and I had $14 left on a gift card! That's like having Darth Vader ask me to the Senior Prom!!! What? Yeah, I just said that. And I mean the creepy breathing Vader too, not the conflicted angsty one.

So I am not being ruled by the scale. I know I am on the right track and I am motivated to get these last pounds off altho I've been jackin' around with the same weight for months! I am totally finding motivation in the ridiculously tiny number on the label on my new blouse. I will display said blouse when I go to dinner with my husband for our anniversary. You will see the smallness.

TWO MILES!

Waaaaahooooo! I just ran 2 miles! Yes, I did say RAN! I am Running Girl! I am so happy! Let me tell you how freaking weird it is to run for 15 minutes and not want to die and lay down on some stranger's lawn. An then I ran for another 10 minutes! What? I actually thought 'Hey, um, shouldn't I be really tired now and want to stop? Shouldn't I be trying to talk myself into not stopping right about now? Why am I not trying to stop? Where is the convincing and the battle with the evil little voice that tells me I've already done enough?' How confusing! But I guess I've been exercising so consistently that I've acclimated somehow. All the time on the bike is paying off. Because I can go balls to the wall on the bike and it still doesn't feel as hard as running to me.

Thank you heel! Thank you brace for my heel and my having the discipline to ice it at night. It's all working and I feel so encouraged. I am employing the 'sweat and veggies' tactic to get the rest of this weight off. I do have cereal for breakfast because if I start out with a lot of fiber I am way less hungry later. Then salad, fruit, V-8 and nuts. Maybe some lean meat for protein 'cause I beat the hell out of my heavy bag yesterday! Wheeee - lookout remaining jiggliness - your days are numbered!

Frowny Face with Angry Eyebrows

I wrote that out because I am morally opposed to making 'emoticons' with 'punctuation'. I am not judging those who indulge but I just ain't going there. Anyway, I grew a pair and got on the scale yesterday. Guess what it said. Go on, guess. Yup 138. I shit you not! I didn't freak and get discouraged though. I just sighed and resigned myself to doing what ever it takes to get as far away from that number as I can as quickly as possible. So yesterday I got on the bike in the afternoon despite how freaking tired I was. It's got to happen. Plus a lot of salads have been eaten this week.

Today, though, we went to Dragon Con and walked a bit but not at all the fast 2 miles I usually do. I was gonna just have a light day today but someone pissed me off at dinner. I won't name names but he's older than me and I live with him. . . . I left a little space for you to figure it out. Anyway I took my pissed offedness and took the dog for our regular 2 mile walk in the neighborhood. But I was still pissed so I went out again and did a 1.5 mile run. Did you see what I said??? Run! Yes, I ran. I haven't run for months due to my mysterious heel injury. It's been feeling good lately and I've been wearing my brace and icing it at night so I thought I'd take some tentative steps. Baby running steps. Dahling it was mahvelous!!! Now I know I can get this weight off. If I can run it can be done. The bike is great but running just really jump starts my metabolism like nothing else. So I'm icing my heel right now as I type and I'll just take it easy tomorrow and walk and bike. But then on Monday.... maybe a little more running if it feels ok. Very exciting! And what a good way to let go of my pissyness.

So TAKE THAT 138. You're history! I will not tolerate you hanging around anymore! I mean it, we're done. I never want to see you again and I am willing to eat as many salads as are necessary to ensure your complete and utter banishment from my life. I have nothing more to say to you.

I smell bad

Oh, man. My arms are useless. As is most of the rest of me. Luckily my kids are amusing themselves. I'm surprised I can type! What a workout with Coach Sule today. We did so much but for mostly 1 minute reps that it really felt like an hour and a half worth or workout. I remember looking up thinking it MUST be time to stretch and being shocked that class was only 1/2 over! We mixed aerobic and strength back and forth and boy, oh boy did it work me. Why am I going on and on about this workout? Because it taught me that I can still really push myself. I guess I'd gotten a little complacent and while working diligently on form I hadn't really had the opportunity to go balls to the wall and really get beat up. And ya know, I like it!

I have been a good girl this week and been walking the dog every day and getting on the stationary bike on my non- Sule workout days but I haven't really had it out with my heavy bag recently. Heavy bag, I miss you! I will see you Saturday even though my Girl Fight Club girls won't be around. My heel is feeling a lot better and I think it can take some heavy bag fun. I'm not going to try to run yet but I think that may come.... So git up and git moving!!! Your body can keep going waaaaaay after your brain has told you (or even begged and pleaded with you) to stop. And it feels really good to break through that barrier. So find your shaky place - you know, where your muscles start to rebel at what you are asking and they start shaking and getting all wobbly. Don't hurt yourself but get some shakiness going. Your muscles will thank you.

Now, I think I may go take a bath and soak out some of this lactic acid and get the stink off me. That's some multitasking I can get into!